- A professional matchmaker who critiques dating profiles shares common mistakes people make online.
- Maria Avgitidis, CEO of Agape Match, cited photos, bad prompts, and focusing on the number of likes.
- "If you talk more about you, the person who's interested in you is going to match you," she said.
A fourth-generation matchmaker who runs a matchmaking service in New York City and ranks online-dating profiles on TikTok says there are common mistakes people make on dating apps.
Maria Avgitidis, 37, is the CEO of Agape Match, a high-end dating service that charges between $30,000 to $50,000 for a six-month contract. She recently ran a popular Q&A called "Ask a Matchmaker" on her Instagram page, which has amassed over 31,000 followers at the time of writing.
In October 2020, she turned her hand to TikTok, where she now has over 56,000 followers, when someone asked her to review their dating profile. Avgitidis told Insider her first video, which has 18,000 views at the time of writing, opened the "floodgates" and she received 300 direct messages within an hour asking her to critique their profile.
After a year of reviewing dating profiles, the matchmaker has shared the most common mistakes users might be making.
You haven't pre-empted how your potential matches are swiping
Avgitidis said you have to first consider how your audience swipes: "If your audience is straight men, you should know that they tend to swipe like psychopaths," she joked, adding that they often swipe with instinct. "Only after you match will they go through the rest of your profile and read the rest of your prompts and look at your photos."
She said that those who date women need to consider how fun yet safe they look, and should aim to include some photos with their friends to show there are people who can vouch that they're approachable.
The profile doesn't lead with your best photo first
According to Avgitidis, OkCupid found that profiles with photos where the person is smiling directly at the camera get three times as many likes. She said women who date men should also take a photo from their chest upwards while wearing color or standing in front of a colorful background to attract an "instinctual swipe." For the same reason, she added that they shouldn't use too many pictures with their friends as this can detract attention away from them.
Avgitidis also said men tend to take photos with their male friends in mind, for example, next to their car, and they should try to focus on their personality instead. In photos with friends, they should make sure they're still the focus of the image.
Prompts focus on what you're looking for rather than your personality
Not taking dating-profile prompts seriously is the biggest mistake you can make, according to Avgitidis. "If it's not unique, then don't put it at all," she said, noting that people who use prompts to talk about what they're looking for are missing the point. "If you talk more about you, the person who's interested in you is going to match you," Avgitidis added.
You're too focused on getting a lot of swipes rather than optimal matches
There's a difference between a lot of matches and good matches, according to Avgitidis. "I'm trying to get them the most optimal swipes," she said. "I want the person they're actually interested in looking for them and then swiping."
Her solution for online daters comes from her colleague Erica Eton, who stands by the "55 rule," whereby users swipe either 50 times or until they have five likes. "Once you hit that number, then you look at your matches and you start messaging them," Avgitidis said, adding that this allows you to figure out your turnover rate to a date.